A former classmate of mine (who is now a voice professor) was recently discussing the role of fear in singing. In lessons she works to identify “the moment of fear” with her students. In other words, noticing when mental or emotional reluctance results in physical inhibitions that limit freedom in our singing.
I talk often about how personal singing is. When people criticize our voices it can feel like they are criticizing us, not just our singing. Of course, we are not our voices. But our voices are an important instrument for expressing who we are and I suspect that is where some of our insecurities and fears come in.
So…what are we afraid of?
Maybe we’re afraid of making an ugly sound. The American Idol culture seems to tell us that singing should only be done by the people who are already good at it. And if you’re not good at it you deserve our ridicule.
Maybe we’re afraid of being wrong. The current academic climate places a strong emphasis on achievement, grades, and the “right" answer, as opposed to engaging in productive debate or creatively working out various solutions to a problem. How many times have you sat confused in class because you didn’t want to ask a question that might make you look stupid?
Maybe we’re just afraid of making a sound that isn’t “me.” Since our sound is how we express ourselves, we may be resistant to making a sound that doesn’t (literally) resonate with who we are or who we believe ourselves to be.
Of course, singing and practicing our singing should be about exploring our options and discovering new and (eventually) better sounds. In the same way, education is about expanding the mind to include concepts not yet considered. And growing up is about finding who you are and building a life around your own values and priorities. Fear can be an obstacle in each of these areas and can keep us locked to the familiar.
Whether in lessons (What will he think?), in performances (Will they think I’m terrible?), or in practice sessions (Who is listening on the other side of the door?), it can be a good idea to identify the fears lurking beneath the surface so we can move beyond the restrictions and limitations they may be subconsciously encouraging.
So…what are you afraid of?
"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." --Rosa Parks
"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." --Salvador Dali
Now go practice.
I have a very overactive imagination when it comes to my future. I know that fear of failure often goes beyond the moment for me and into my potential future as a performer: if i'm not good enough to pleas these people, will I ever be good enough to please anybody? Are my ideas interesting/entertaining enough to other for me to be able to support myself and potentially a family?
ReplyDeleteI think I find that all of this may come together to add to the anxiety that can accompany a performance, a rehearsal, a lesson, or even a practice.
It is those moments that i have to trust my love for this medium and focus in on what I need to do in the moment, realizing that failure is okay, because that is how we grow, and while I am not sure if I 'have what it takes', I have seen myself grow as I've worked to improve.
-Andy Harrison
I have to think of every opportunity I get up to use my voice as a rehearsal. If it is a rehearsal then exploring, trying things I never thought of, or going for things that are difficult, are all acceptable endeavors. If it is a “performance” then it should be perfect, polished, without mistakes. And if it doesn’t end up being those things? Then the performance failed, and therefore I failed. That is such a harmful way of thinking and I have a hard time catching the thoughts and shutting them down. So if I simply think of every opportunity as a rehearsal, a new way to practice my craft, then I seem to not only do better in the first place, but I am able to more easily forgive myself if things don’t go according to plan. Artists live a rough life and it requires a lot of self-forgiveness, which is some times the hardest part.--Keaton Kitchen
ReplyDeleteI feel like I've become pretty fearless with my voice because I feel that a lot of the things that "go wrong" when I sing are out of my control. But it's kind of a double-edged sword. On one side it's great to just let my voice be whatever it is with all it's cracks and diplophonic oddities - it takes the pressure off, which helps me for the better. But on the other hand - it takes the responsibility away, so I get into this mindset that it doesn't matter how much I try or what I do because I will never get past where I am. And that mindset can be very detrimental. I had a meeting with a vocal specialist to look at the breaks in my voice and she told me that it could be functional or structural. So what I think I'm most afraid of is that they are going to put a scope down into my vocal folds and find out they are structurally sound and that I just haven't improved for whatever reason over the past five years. I'm more afraid of that than finding out there is nothing I can do to make my voice more complete. Which is kind of funny. Fear is a little silly isn't it?
ReplyDeleteEver since tech for 3PO ended I have been able to get back to doing my regular sessions rather than going for an hour straight. And let me tell you, it makes a HUGE difference for me. This week I was talking in my lesson about how sometimes I can't feel the difference between abusing the voice (pain) or if that pain was just fatigue from working out the muscles invovled with vocal production. Ever since I have started doing my short sessions again that uncomfortable feeling has gone away, which I think just shows I was working out the voice rather than pushing anything. So now I know that short practice sessions will better maintain my voice while still getting the appropriate work out.
ReplyDelete-Cameron Fleck
For the longest time, I identified as a dancer or a singer or actor and not as myself, the human with imperfections, Cody Carlson. It's still a struggle to accept my imperfect self and let it all slide and ultimately fear is what holds me back in either circumstance. You get into the habit of identifying with "singer", "actor", whatever, that you start forgetting you're an actual human and the fear of anything penetrating your identity (such as a negative comment or perception of your voice) as a singer burns to the core. Letting go of fear for me has been accepting that I'm imperfect and not everybody is going to like my voice or whatever, but that doesn't make me any less of a person.
ReplyDeleteI think the thing I fear most is that I am not working at my maximum potential. There was a rehearsal in high school that I physically damaged my voice for the first time in my life and I was proud of the energy I brought until someone told me that it is bad that my voice is as raw as it is. And, sure enough, I lost my voice and was totally incapacitated from rehearsal for a week. This happened to be one of the last weeks of rehearsal, so that one instance of over extending took its toll. Every time I sing, I want to belt and shout and make loud, beautiful sounds all the time, but I have to remember that it's OK that this one time I take it back. Learning more about the pedagogy has helped me place higher priority in the safety in my voice, but it still takes active thinking to let myself relax.
ReplyDeleteSo I am in the last week of 3PO and my voice is having a hard time because i feel like i am constantly yelling through this show.... So i have decided to let the sound do the work... because if i keep yelling its not going to help... Rest has been my key ingredient for trying to keep my voice healthy! I have taken down the coffee intake and started drinking more tea! Tea soothes my throat and ORANGE JUICE is awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteI have learned through this show! To only listen too my music director and my voice teacher to tell me how to sing... I also learned that there are some things that my voice is not capable to do at this moment... maybe eventually later but I have learned to let the vice do its work and not manipulate what it needs to do... or how it naturally works... So i have set a goal to let my voice be how it is... and the work with Brian to figure out how t make a healthy change!