Recently, I've been reading The Empowered Performer: The Musician's Companion in Building Confidence & Conquering Performance Anxiety by Sharon L. Stohrer. This is Stohrer's second book on performance anxiety, so she goes into greater depth and provides more extended strategies than she does in her first book.
One of the sections that struck me has to do with avoidance. Related to how we practice our music, she says, "When we have tricky runs or difficult shifts or places that feel too high vocally, we tend to avoid them. No wonder then, when we continue to struggle with those problem areas!" (p.82)
Have you ever caught yourself doing that? There is a difficult section in your song, but instead of devising strategies to work it out, you pretend that it's not there and just hope that it will get better on its own. As stated in the last blog, "Hope isn't a strategy." Stohrer instead encourages singers to do what is entirely logical: When you go to practice, find the spots in your music that trouble you the most, and address those spots first. Rather than trying to escape or ignore the difficulty, she encourages us to embrace it.
As far as why we avoid these spots in our music, it could be due to perfectionism. To help explain this, Stohrer quotes author, professor, and researcher Brené Brown:
"Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize painful feelings or shame, judgment, and blame...Somewhere along the way, we adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish, and how well I accomplish it." -Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
If we believe, even subconsciously, that we have to do everything perfectly because we are what we accomplish, the difficult spots in our music will serve to expose our imperfections. So, to avoid the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame, we simply avoid those parts in our music that we can’t yet perform perfectly. Makes perfect sense, right?
Stohrer comes back to Brown’s philosophies to help us move beyond this mindset:
"As Brown mentions in her book Atlas of the Heart, perfectionism is not about self-improvement, it's about trying to win the approval and acceptance of others. Striving for growth and mastery should be self-focused rather than based on external factors, 'How can I improve?' rather than 'What will everyone think?' It can be extremely difficult, as a performer, not to rely on external validation. After all, the public won't come in droves to see your performance simply because you think it's amazing. However, do you really think anyone will think your performance is amazing if you don't believe it wholeheartedly first? In order for you to believe you will have an amazing performance, you must look inwards to improve; and in order to improve, you must make room for imperfection and mistakes." (Stohrer, p.75-76)
Stohrer closes this section of the book saying, "Accept your faults and remind yourself often that you are on a journey of self-discovery, of growth as a musician, and as an increasingly-empowered performer. This is a process, NOT a destination." (p.76)
Similar ideas were explored in yet another NPR interview I heard recently. Reporter Mary Louise Kelly was speaking to author George Saunders about his new book of short stories titled Liberation Day: Stories. Here’s an excerpt from the interview:
KELLY: Are there some [stories] that you work on for days or weeks or months and, at the end, you think, well, that was a crazy idea, and I'm not sure it landed, so let's go and set that one aside?
SAUNDERS: What tends to happen is I just say, ‘Well, I just haven't opened up to it enough yet. I just have to keep trying, keep trying, keep trying.’...You'll hit a certain obstruction in a story, and it seems like often the key to getting past that is admitting that you're there. And you can't say, ‘Oh, I'm a loser. I'm a terrible writer. I'm a bad person.’ You just say, ‘The story is challenging me in a way I can't figure out.’
KELLY: I love that. It's such a good way of thinking about all kinds of challenges, isn't it? Whether it's writing or anything else.
Next time you hit one of those challenging spots in your music, instead of avoiding it, consider the perspectives above. Acknowledge the difficulty and admit that you’re not yet able to perform that spot the way you would like. Acknowledge that it doesn’t make you a bad singer or a bad person. Think about how you might address that challenge. Then get to work.
Now go practice.
This post really struck a chord with me. I know that I am a perfectionist and I know that it is one of the reasons I get in my own way so much. With the latest song we’ve been working on in class, I always fear running up to the high notes. Sometimes I’ll just giggle my way through them, sometimes I’ll just shy away, and sometimes I sing them and cringe. Rarely have I run up to a high note and jumped with confidence. I really liked the Brené Brown quote about “Somewhere along the way, we adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish, and how well I accomplish it." My fears around being perfect, especially at something like singing, I think has influenced how I feel about singing and therefore my confidence level. A new strategy I would love to implement into my practice is really focusing on that quick spike of fear I get when a high note is coming up and really look at what I’m so worried about, how I can get more comfortable with the notes, and remind myself that to sometimes miss a note is part of the process.
ReplyDeleteThis post really resonated with me. With our recent song, "Always," I felt uncomfortable with some of the higher notes and was super nervous about performing in front of the class. Sometimes while practicing I would get frustrated or anxious and just stop. But workshopping the piece in front of the class was really helpful to me. Being in front of my peers was nerve-wracking, but it helped me conquer my fear of making sounds I was scared of in front of a supportive group of people. This blog post reminded me that improvement only comes from practice, and things are rarely (if ever) perfect the first time.
ReplyDeleteNow i wouldn't call myself a perfectionist (im actually probably the furthest thing from it) but when I am working on a scene or trying out a new monologue, I tend to find myself gravitating towards certain part of the text. I do this because I often find a part of the text that I feel really strong and confident in. When rehearsing I keep sharpening that part because it feels good, and I feel good about myself doing it. Eventually in the process I realize that half of my piece feels fantastic and the other turns out being just so so. When it comes to performance I often find myself really reveling in the good parts and dismissing the bad. Sometimes I wory this shows in my performance. I suppose the fix is to give every part of the pieces its due respect, but its pretty hard sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThis blog was super thought provoking for me. Interestingly enough, I usually focus on trouble spots in the pieces that I'm working on a lot BECAUSE of my perfectionism. Rather than running away from them because they make me feel imperfect, I drill them in order to seem "more perfect". Something mentioned in this blog that I absolutely need to work on is the sentiment of seeming perfect in order to appease an external view. It's time for me to shift my mindset to "I want to improve myself; to feel fulfilled, and proud." I really loved this blog! It absolutely is going to effect how I look at rehearsing as well as mistakes in the performance space.
ReplyDeleteAlexa Shaheen
When I practice, I think I tend to sing through the whole song rather than focusing on individual sections. I don’t think I avoid difficult parts, but I also don’t give them as much special attention as I should. I tend to be impatient in my practice and want the song to sound good immediately, but I know I could take it further if I put in the work to improve the difficult parts. I really liked the quote about perfectionism—I think I used to be kind of a perfectionist, but the more performing I do, the more I’ve had to let go of that because each performance is different and so it’s impossible to find the single “perfect” way to perform a piece.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the quote put in this post, "Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system..." it resonates with me as a person who was raised to think they need to be perfect, but where can a person improve if perfection is already thought to be achieved. The train of thought seeing performing usually revolves around being perfect, when it should be showing the audience what you have been improving on since the previous practice or performance. Growth needs to be sustainable and it's important to remember that in order to grow we need not to be perfect of have the idea of perfection in our minds.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a really interesting blog post, as I do not find this to be a common outlook for me. Instead of constantly avoiding troublespots, I'm always obsessing over them. I'll spend an hour trying to find an approach that will make a high note more accessible. I worry that this may be a negative on the opposite side of the spectrum. As it causes me to let the more comfortable spots in my voice become sloppy. It also I think makes me think to hard and put pressure physically to the build up and anticipation of high notes.
ReplyDeleteI found this blog super relevant to how I often treat my practice. For me, the avoidance often comes out of frustration. If I’ve tried a few times and it just isn’t working out, I’ll get frustrated and believe that it simply isn’t in my abilities. This is definitely coming from a fixed mindset that I am working to overcome and turn into more of a growth mindset. I really like that Brene Brown quote about perfectionism as well! I find myself far too worried about making the performance perfect that I forget to make the performance human and meaningful. Lots of great reminders in this blog!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this blog. I think that this used to be me. I was so worried with what I wanted to sound like that I didn't focus on how to actually get there. But I really do think that since my mindset has changed, it has really helped me improve and it makes it more motivating to continue to work this way, since I can see those improvements. I also love and hate the definition of perfectionism because it was real and accurate but made me really think about the parts in my life where I can be a perfectionist. For sure one of my favorite blogs this semester.
ReplyDeleteI think I can relate a lot to this blog because I have always felt the need to be perfect the first time I perform anything otherwise I doubt myself but I think it is important to understand that of course things aren't going to be perfect the first time you try and with learning new music, I would get frustrated that it did not sound how I wanted it to but with practice and focusing on the areas I struggled with, over time it started to sound how I was wanting it to and I would be surprised by this even though I shouldn't be surprised because it seems obvious that working on areas you struggle with with improve your performance so I often have to remind myself that it is okay to not be perfect the first time around and that it takes time.
ReplyDeleteHi Brian! Every blog you make seems to come at just the right time for me. This past semester, I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-doubt in my abilities as a performer, and as much as I’ve been trying to tell myself that it’s ok, the perfectionist in me is wishing that I could do everything right. I’ve been trying to use the method mentioned in the blog lately, and I’ve started to set reminders on my phone to remind myself. I’m currently at this block with the A’s and B flats in For Forever. I get so in my head in the moment that I psych myself out and produce a product that I’m not content with. But I’ve been trying to recognize that it’s ok to not get this right now, but I will get it soon.
ReplyDeleteI think this post hits very very close to home, as I’m sure it may for so many others. For me personally, I think my obsession with perfectionism has become the biggest barrier from working on the parts of my voice that I feel aren’t “performance-ready” or are still needing to grow/strengthen. I really appreciate how Stohrer encourages musicians/vocalists to embrace the challenge, instead of hiding away from it. My need to sound a certain way for the approval of others, has kept me from working on my head-voice and mix sound. However, those parts of my voice can’t grow on their own. And even when I know all this, it’s comforting to hear the problems I’m struggling with articulated so eloquently and lovingly by a professional. It reminds me I have the capacity and courage to focus on those challenging spots in my voice/music. Something else that resonated with me in this post is treating my journey as a vocalist as one of self-discovery. That it’s not about reaching a destination.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is very thought-provoking because of the fact that I do this sometimes. And this doesn't just apply to singing in my opinions sometimes in a script I skip over a line because "I will get to it later." or "I think it will just get better overtime as I practice the other lines" "etc." And its interesting to see that I may have subconsciously just avoiding practicing it because I can't perform it "perfectly" But then sometimes I just keep targeting what is making me "fail" and thats all I do until I get fried. I just need a healthy pace of going at my "failures"
ReplyDeleteThis blog really hits close to home. For as long as I can remember I have been a perfectionist over practically every aspect of my life. I've learned to let most things go, but in relation to performing and singing I find myself hyper-fixating on what I did wrong, even though the audience most likely did not notice and I beat myself up over it, worried that the directors notice and think less of me or that I did not do as well as I could. For example, during my Italian song in Dem Lab, my legs were shaking so much, I was sure the audience could see it and convinced myself that it affected my performance negatively. But upon watching the video taken, I saw that my legs looked perfectly still. And concerning avoidance, I find myself doing that well, especially in response to failed high notes. But this post really encourages me to practice, as it reminded me that the harshest critic is yourself, and that avoidance will only weaken any progress I have made. If I ever want to hit higher notes with a healthy tone, I have to find different tactics (like we discussed last week) in order to do so instead of avoiding it altogether.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog! I thought it was very interesting when you touched on perfectionism. One of my biggest barriers when it comes to singing specifically, is that I'm too much of a perfectionist. If I don't sound the way I wish I could or if I sing a note wrong or mess up on a performance I will completely beat myself up. It's a sense of me needing approval from others, but also approval from myself. I think it will be a really good goal for me to work on not being as harsh on myself when it comes to perfecting a performance or song and just sing what I can to the best of my ability.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to the avoidance part of practicing. If I know something is particularly difficult, sometimes I wind up in my own head and have trouble getting myself to do what I need to. I also think that internally, when I tell myself that something is hard or that I cant do something, it makes it so that I literally cannot. Like when I say, oh that note is too high, I can't hit that, the tension in my body makes that completely true. If I can get around avoidance and anxiety, I end up making so much more progress!
ReplyDeleteI am one that definitely can avoid practicing too often, I find that each person has their own way around this though, for me its doing something physical and active. Focusing on a different part of the blog, I find that singing through certain sections is definitely helpful, yet singing through the entirety of a song can help the artist have a more concrete grasp of what they are struggling on or need to work with.
ReplyDeleteThis blog really resonated with me this week, and its actually something that I'm working on in all of my classes, especially voice and dance. I definitely could work harder and allowing mistakes and correcting them rather than avoiding them all together. In dance this last week we had Eric, and he kept saying "yet" after anyone said "I can't do that." I think that is a really good way to approach practice as a whole: what can I not do yet, and how can I get to a point where I can do it comfortably and consistently. After all, how will we ever improve if we don't mess up in the first place?
ReplyDeleteFor me, I often feel like the things that I am naturally good at I want to keep pursuing and the things I'm not naturally good at I don't pursue. That can become a negative feedback loop, where I'm not improving in those aspects of my life because I'm not putting any practice or intention there. This can become a common pattern for me (and for most people), in so many different elements of my life: subjects in school, organization, physical fitness, singing technique, etc. It can be important to spend some time on the things in life we struggle with, so we can struggle less with them and train ourselves to be more adaptable.
ReplyDeleteThis might be the blog I’ve resonated with the most ever. Literally everything you described is something I do so there’s a lot of work to be done here. You know I struggle with these things even in voice lessons and even with this past week being one of, if not the most, horrible voice lesson I’ve ever had, it showed me it’s okay to sound bad sometimes. The perfectionist in me was crushed by it but it’s a necessary thing I need to accept. I also have a tendency to stop whenever I become afraid of things whenever I’m taking lessons from you. I don’t face them head on at all and that’s something I need to fix. It’s easy to do alone because I know I can target the problem and no one will need to be involved but once people are added to the equation, it becomes so difficult. These are all things I need to work on. It won’t happen overnight but progress is slowly being made!
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ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I do have to say that I succumb to this avoidance regularly, although it is not in regard to only one riff or one note, it is in regard to whole songs, or even the act of practicing itself. I am so afraid of failing, especially because I know my singing is not a well-developed skill yet, that I stop myself from having any hope of succeeding in the first place. From previous experiences of working on riffs incessantly to being able to execute them without question, you would think I'd have learned to be rid of this habit, but I have not, and it infiltrates all aspects of my life. There is nothing to do but keep chipping away at this fear of failure until I can get myself to practice in spite of it.
ReplyDeleteI will say, though, that I disagree with Brown's perspective on perfectionism a bit, as I do not feel it is always externally motivated. In fact, as it pertains to my personal circumstances, I think perfectionism is more often internally motivated - I am never thinking of what others will perceive of my execution of something, but I am thinking about my perception of how correctly I am executing it. For example, when I hear the character of Karen, as played by Kate Rockwell, execute the riffs in "Sexy" without question, I then hold this as the standard of my own execution, regardless of whether or not anyone will hear it. Thus and thus, while perfectionism is "self-destructive" and "addictive," I do not think its pressures always come from without, and for me they are often motivated only from within.
This blog is a bit of a call out. I may have slightly developed the perspective that I should only perform music that I can perform "well." But, instead of avoiding music that I am not perfect at, I should keep working at it, because how else will I get better? Hm? I want to keep pushing my voice even as it improves and not feel content to remain at my current level.
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