Sing like there's nobody listening?

There is a well-known quote that many of you have probably heard, in some version: 

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.” 

Internet searches most often attribute this to one of two authors—William Purkey or Mark Twain—but there seems to be some question as to its origin. (For instance, I'm not certain Mark Twain would use the word "gotta.")

Regardless of who said it, I have always found parts of the quote troublesome. Love like you'll never be hurt? OK. Live like it's heaven on earth? Sure. But sing like there's nobody listening? Hold on. 

I can certainly understand what I believe to be the main sentiment of the phrase. When we engage in activities that require vulnerability, like singing, it's easy to imagine that anyone listening may be negatively judging us (whether they actually are or not). This might cause us to become self-conscious and to sing in a way that withholds our true selves or protects our egos. Maybe we'll laugh at ourselves before others can beat us to it, or maybe we'll act like we weren't really trying that hard to sound good, in order to soften the blow of any criticism. 

By contrast, when we are by ourselves, we may feel free to make bolder, more authentic choices. We take risks and act without fear of mistakes. Naturally, this can make something like singing more enjoyable, a more true reflection of who we are, and even more technically efficient. I can't tell you how many students have said, "I sound so good when I'm singing alone in my car. Why can't I sound like that when I'm around other people?"

In that sense, I appreciate the intention of the quote. If we are most free and psychologically unencumbered when we are by ourselves, then it may be a worthy goal to "sing like there's nobody listening," even when we're in front of an audience. 

What troubles me about the quote, however, is that it could also imply that the person singing doesn't really deserve to be heard or doesn't have anything meaningful to say. "Just sing like there's no one listening—people don't really care what you have to say anyway." 

Personally, when I have taken the time to thoughtfully prepare a song, a performance, or even a class lecture, I guess I have the audacity to trust that there is someone who wants—and maybe even needs—to hear what I have to say. Why, then, would I want to imagine that no one is listening to me? If I didn't think that I could sing or say anything worth hearing, then I might as well not waste my time. 

That being said, some people really do have no interest in what I have to say, regardless of how I say it. And some of these folks are not at all shy about letting me know this, either in their words or in their body language. (Did I mention that I used to teach middle school and high school?) Maybe, if my message or my delivery is good enough, I can win over some of those people. But maybe not. Some will criticize me regardless of how I perform. Here's what I do about that: I don't think about those people. I mean, if I'm preparing a lecture, I try to present it in a way that is accessible to everyone in the class. But if someone is determined not to hear what I have to say, I can't do much about that. 

Instead, I create an audience in my head that is comprised of people who are eager to hear me. This audience often includes my family (the family I was born into and the family I have chosen), close friends, and students (some current, some former) whom I know to be enthusiastic learners. These people know me and believe in what I have to offer. They will be rooting for my success but they also will not mind if either my message or my delivery is less than perfect. This is who I perform for, even when none of those people is actually in the room. 

As you are preparing your final performances of this semester, I encourage you to think of who might be in your ideal audience. Imagine those people beaming with pride as you sing, hanging on your every note, and appreciating the depth of all your musical choices. Sing for this crowd as though somebody is listening—a whole room of somebodies who believe you have something valuable to say and who know that your voice is worth hearing. 

And whether or not I ever earn a spot in your ideal audience, I am honored to be one of the people listening to you. 

We're almost there. Let's finish strong. 

Now go practice. 

Some of my ideal audience members.