Part of theatre education involves learning how to fairly evaluate performances. In order to do this well, we have to pay attention, thoughtfully take in what we are seeing, and then identify what elements are contributing to, or detracting from, the success of the performance. When doing this, you may imagine what you might do differently if you were the director of the scene or if you were speaking the same text or singing the same notes as the person you're observing.
Analyzing performances in this way doesn't have to be done with any mean-spiritedness or schadenfreude. When done with a curious mind, it helps develop the crucial evaluation skills we all need as artists.
Those same skills can be used for self-evaluation, which takes practice and honing in order to be productive. We all know that we can be our own worst critics. But we can turn that around and use the same observation skills to be our own best evaluators.
One of the most useful ways to self-evaluate is to video record yourself singing and then watch it as if you are an outside observer. If you're not used to doing that (or have never really tried it), it can be uncomfortable at first since we seem to be conditioned to zero in on our flaws. But honest observation involves identifying areas that can be improved and strategizing ways to work on those parts of your performances. It also, importantly, means identifying the aspects of your performance that are going well that you want to keep or build upon. It takes some conscious effort, but these evaluations can be done without judging yourself or beating yourself up over not being perfect.
In the last blog, I shared some thoughts related to avoidance from The Empowered Performer by Sharon L. Stohrer. The book also has a chapter called "Tell Your Inner Critic to Shut the H*ll Up!" in which Stohrer suggests actually inviting your inner critics to sit with you when you view your videos of practice sessions. As she writes, "The Inner Critics and Judges are part of us. They can help us evaluate our rehearsals and performances, giving us useful feedback. The trick is to harness their wisdom, but avoid giving them power." (p.133)
Once we get to performance time, however, those critics no longer get to speak up. Stohrer once again quotes author Brené Brown, who suggests speaking directly to our inner critics before performances, saying, "I see you, I hear you, but I'm going to show up and do this anyway. I've got a seat for you and you're welcome to come, but I'm not interested in your feedback." (p.134)
As we get closer to end-of-the-semester juries and class performances, try video recording some run-throughs of your songs. Then sit down with your inner critics and put your observation skills to work. Just like theatre critics who write reviews, we can rave about the highlights and take note of the areas for improvement. Then, as performance time nears, we can politely but forcefully remind those critics that it's time to shut the hell up.
Now go practice.
I really liked the quote about hearing your inner critics but not giving them power. I have always found it really hard to not zero in on my faults or where I messed up when looking back at any sort of performance. I think that it is really easy for self-critique to turn into a tear down and that is something I personally really need to work on. It’s interesting how a lot of times we can be our worst critics, saying things to ourselves that we would never say to others. Maybe recording my practices would help to detach myself from the performance and allow me to be more of an outside observer and therefore less judgmental and more helpful.
ReplyDeleteI write this at an interesting time, as I just finished my first performance of a new scene and received an entire page of notes. Right now i feel completely consumed by all of these notes; the next time I get a chance to work on the scene it will be hard for me to focus on anything but these notes. During this time I must force myself to be reminded of all of the good that occurred during the performance. Also during this time, i become hardest on myself. This blog serves as a nice reminder that criticism and self criticism is not a poison rather an ingredient, when used properly, enhances the entire meal.
ReplyDeleteOften when I do vocal practice I will record myself via voice notes to analyze my sound. Sometimes (at least for me) it is very hard to hear exactly what others may be hearing. Perhaps one of the vowels is sounding pinched or is too rounded for the particular song/style that I am singing in. I have voice notes of me singing various things that date back to 2016. Wowza some of those are old and my voice has developed a lot since then. It is interesting to analyze those old recordings and think about what I would do differently now! I still have a long way to go but being able to hear myself from an outside perspective has been so helpful.
ReplyDeleteIn the last year, I have gotten much better at evaluating my performances through videos. It can definitely be uncomfortable to watch myself act, but I’ve become much more able to identify concrete things that I’m doing well and things I need to improve on. Filming myself has also allowed me to identify unconscious habits that I have while performing. I have mainly done this with monologues, but I think it would be useful to try it with singing to improve my performance. Filming is also a way to practice singing under increased pressure, without an audience being present.
ReplyDeleteI feel as though I've always had a hard time with the idea of evaluating self performance, especially filming and self tapes. I thought I could avoid watching myself back on camera by mainly focusing on live theatre/performance, but the truth is, self taping will always be part of this process. Since COVID, I've had to film so many self tapes, and have always struggled with them, mainly because the fear and judgment of watching myself back. But the more that I do it, the more comfortable I am with watching back with a critical (but not self-deprecating) eye. I hope that I can do this with practicing and watching myself back when it comes to singing as well.
ReplyDeleteI used to absolutely despise watching myself on camera. I was perfectly content with what I thought I looked like and sounded like, without the video component. When the pandemic started and everything moved online, I had to confront that dislike of watching recordings of myself. It took many months of this before I could watch myself singing without majorly cringing. Watching myself did prove to be incredibly helpful, though. I hadn’t realized how many little singing “ticks” that I had until watching myself over and over on video. This brought in a new awareness which I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Watching videos of yourself does require a sense of patience with yourself to not over-criticize and instead focus on helpful ways to improve what you saw. I like the idea of using the inner critic’s feedback in practice, but telling them to shut the hell up when it’s time to perform because the criticism is no longer helpful.
ReplyDeleteI often am my biggest critic. I find it a bit difficult to take compliments for my performances. I like the idea that I can tell my inner critic to “shut the hell up” because sometimes it’s a bit too much to listen to all the negative things I think about myself and my performances. I used to record myself singing a lot for a YouTube channel I have where I upload covers. I used to record so many times because I didn’t like how I sounded in one take, my expressions in another, or whatever it was I was often hard on myself about the performances. Eventually, I wanted to stop recording as many takes and just told myself that I would upload the first take. I haven’t recorded any covers in a year or so, whether that’s because I tell myself I’m too busy, or because I just don’t want to. I do think recording myself singing for only myself would be beneficial in seeing what I need to improve on for juries and finals.
ReplyDeleteI have really grown to love listening to myself, actually watching is a little harder but not as hard for me as it used to be. I really started doing that this semester and I think it has really helped me explore/discover my belt mix and the tone that comes out when singing. When I do this I often take notes on what I would now change and then even go back and try to sing it again with those intentions and find the placement and shape needed. I do know that I am my worst critic though and to sometimes take a step back from doing that, or I can too technical and do the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog, I think this is a tactic that i should really start practicing with again. When I used to be very involved with musical theatre and therefore constantly workshopping my vocal technique, I would spend hours audio recording my rehearsals. I would work on harmonies and tone quality and all sorts of stuff, but I never thought to use video recording to critique my acting. I think this could be useful if used sparingly, but in the world of acting I think so much value comes from focus on what you are feeling inwardly as opposed to how that presents outwardly. With singing however I think it is very useful, so it ´ s good to find that balance.
ReplyDeleteI think this is something that I am trying to work on as a performer because like most people, I hate watching myself on video so I usually try to avoid it at all costs but recently I've been trying to go back and watch self tapes and instead of just being embarrassed by my performance, I have been attempting to really pay attention to things that I didn't realize I was doing during the performance and take note of these specific things to help improve myself the next time I perform because even if watching yourself is uncomfortable, it is only going to help you improve rather than not watching yourself at all and not knowing the mistakes that you are making.
ReplyDeleteListening and watching videos of myself is something I continue to struggle with. This post made me realize that there are certain instances where I am more apprehensive about watching myself. If it’s a video from a performance in front of other people, it can take me days after that performance to finally watch the video. If it’s a video that others haven’t seen yet, I’m much more wiling to sit and constructively analyze the work. Also, I appreciated how you shared that evaluating your own work is a crucial skill to develop and to approach this act of evaluating with a curious mind. The word “curious” reminds that the process of constructively analyzing your work is a tool for personal growth. It’s not about tearing yourself down but rather—as you mentioned too—about thoughtfully seeing what aided the performance/storytelling and what got in the way.
ReplyDeleteAs the world evolves to be more technologically sound, I'm assuming that a lot of the auditions I will send in will be through videos. During some interesting virus times I had to audition and record a few self-tapes during high school to colleges. And no matter what happened (good or bad) I would always cringe. But it gave me good practice and it reminds me "Hey if I did that in front of a Judge/Director then it would REALLY be a problem" Recording myself allows for rebounds and plenty of shots that can be directed in the right way.
ReplyDeleteI think this is something I definitely need to work on. Since the pandemic, self tapes have become much more common and hearing myself on video makes me cringe. However, I do like the way that if I mess up I can just stop the video and hit record again. I've been trying to pay attention to the details of my performances, how I can specifically improve and critique without being too hard on myself.
ReplyDeleteRecently I have become a lot better at shutting off my inner critic when I'm performing and then watching videos of my performance as soon as I have it and then letting the critic come out, with some room for forgiveness. This has helped me become better at performing too, because I can say "I don't need to worry about how it's going, I can just give an honest and complete performance and then look at how it went later." which has helped to give myself the focus needed to perform.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not sure I'm yet at a point mentally regarding my own singing where I would feel alright to film myself on a regular basis for self-critique, I will say that some recent audition footage I submitted did serve the purposes you mention in this post. In reviewing this footage, I felt both proud of the strides I've made in my singing to this point, and I also found areas I thought were strong that actually could use some improvement. Reviewing my footage illuminated problem areas I may never have noticed by simply listening to myself in my own head, because sustained notes that sounded consistent to me were actually going flat in a fairly drastic way that I was not detecting in my own practices. One main problem I have in recording myself in any manner while singing is that I find myself holding onto the recordings for no reason, because I can never bring myself to actually listen to any of it. In other words, there are minutes and minutes of recordings on my phone that remain unlistened to, because I dread hearing myself sing. I am not sure how to combat this beyond just repetition of process until it becomes comfortable, but that is where I'm at right now, despite my acknowledgment of the merits of self-recording. Maybe this just means I need to submit more auditions to force myself to review my recordings and improve in that way.
ReplyDeleteMy inner-critic is something I have been trying to fight against for years now. My first college acting teacher lovingly referred to it as "the monkey in [my] head." This monkey can be harsh at the worst of times, but, as this blog points out, it does not always have to be a negative presence. What I struggle with the most is letting go of the monkey's critiques when I am trying to learn something new or strengthen a skill I am less confident in. It's easy to let the monkey win, and to throw in the towel when something doesn't come as easily as I would like. The trick, as is pointed out in this blog, is establishing a time and place for when the monkey's ideas are helpful, and moving on from them when they are not. This is a difficult task to balance, but I feel like I am improving in not letting it discourage me from trying again just because I'm not where I want to be with the skill yet. I think that this suggestion of intentionally making self-tapes to give the inner-critic a positive outlet is one I need to try out, because it sounds very helpful in striking this balance faster.
ReplyDeleteThis has honestly been something I've struggled with for a while. I've never been able to listen to or watch myself so that's been something I've definitely had to learn to do. I'm getting better at listening but watching is still hard. I think my studio pieces have specifically helped me do this though because they are fully scenes and it's not just me standing there so it's easier for me to watch those because I'm actually telling a story. I'm beginning to learn not to judge myself so harshly but it's still a tough thing for me but there's at least been improvement for sure!! I'm getting better which is good.
ReplyDeleteHi Brian! As we talked about in my lessons, self-doubt has been a big part of my life this semester, more than usual. I felt as though I kept on messing up and I kept beating myself up. We closed In Pieces last night and I feel as though that I learned a lot from that process. I learned that it's ok to still be learning and that when we mess up, to keep on going. But the most important thing is that we are capable of figuring things out. We may not understand the how to solve the problem at this moment, but we will. I agree that recording is the best way to figure out what to improve on! I've been doing it a lot for dance lately, and it led me to one of my breakthroughs!
ReplyDeleteThis blog post came to me at such a great time because we are just now getting our first dem lab videos back, especially our Italians, and when I first saw mine my first instinct was to critique what I had been doing and seeing if my nerves came across on camera/to the audience. I was way too harsh on myself and it stirred up a lot of doubt in my mind and made my nerves worse thinking about more performances in Dem Lab. I've always hated watching myself on camera, but if I am going to consider this as an actual career, I'm going to have to let those horrible critiques go and rather focus on what I could do better, just like the post says, to enhance my performance. Instead of inviting doubt, I will provide encouragement.
ReplyDeleteJack Anderson
It's really interesting to see how much self-tapes have evolved through and after the pandemic, but when I had to submit my self-tape for college auditions I was so uncomfortable both watching the tape and doing the initial audition. This blog post really gives efforts to critique out what we see worst in ourselves instead of rephrasing to what we can improve on. I think efforts like this need to be implemented if we are to see performing arts a full-time career rather than just a hobby. There should be more room for improvement rather than room for harsh critique.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this blog because I think it made me face reality! I really dislike watching recordings of myself; whether it be songs, monologues, dances it just cringes me out SO bad. But, since coming to the U and seeing how normalized it is to film (and encouraged), I haven't been so scared to watch myself. Am I at a point where I film myself? No. Am I inspired to try? Absolutely. I think that watching videos of performances is incredibly beneficial and I can recognize that because each time I do so, I am able to observe things I would've been otherwise oblivious to. With juries coming up, I think now is a perfect time to implement this strategy into my practice times!
ReplyDeleteAlexa Shaheen