https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201509/declining-student-resilience-serious-problem-colleges
While at first I wanted to dismiss it as another grown-up complaining about “these kids today,” I think he brings up real concerns about our ability to confront failure.
Part of what the article describes is that, in the current generation, failure in any capacity has become cause for panic. There are lots of theories as to how this came to be. Maybe we put too much emphasis on testing. Maybe parents (and teachers) have swooped in and prevented you from failure in an attempt to protect you (even though most real learning comes from failure). Maybe the increased pressure to succeed (get into a good school, land a lucrative job, etc.) has given the impression that failure should never occur, even though most successful people can relate story after story of how they bounced back from failures.
There is an obvious connection to the vocal studio. While none of us TRY to fail, it’s bound to happen. Whether it’s an audition where we don’t get the part, a performance that lands flat, or the occasional complete train wreck, anyone doing what we do will experience failure.
The question is, how do we react?
If we fail because we’re unprepared (not as memorized as we should have been, didn’t know the song as well as we could have) then that should obviously motivate us to prepare better the next time.
If we fail because our technique or interpretation was flawed, we should self analyze and decide what we need to do differently to improve.
If we fail because there were others who were just better than us on that day, we should strive to be better the next time and take steps to make that happen.
Failure is normal. Struggle is expected. It does not mean you are worthless.
True, we (the faculty and the institution) are responsible for encouraging a safe environment here at school. But that is not to keep you from failing. It’s so that when (not if) you do fail it doesn’t feel like the end of the world. You are not a failure just because you don’t always succeed.
This week I am working to enjoy my past failures and focusing on how they have helped me improve. In so many cases, it was by failing that I was forced to consider a different way of doing things that ultimately led to greater success.
How have you been failing this week?
Now go practice.
I think that nowadays more than ever before people want things to happen fast and to get the best result possible. A lot of us don't realize that great things take time and effort. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others who are in different levels of life/skill/technique and that makes us feel like failures (at least for me). We need to not only try to be better than we were but to thrive and work hard. Let others who are doing great motivate us. This week I have failed in memorizing my songs and really getting into the mood of the characters my songs call for. I have failed to be stricter on myself than i was last week. Nonetheless I shall go practice now.
ReplyDeleteI've always felt that failing is the only way we can improve. Even if the failure is small such as hitting a sour note when practicing in the privacy of your own home. We, as singers, I feel are definitely more prone to feel panic after failing due to fear of judgement from others and fearing that they aren't talented. We shouldn't beat ourselves after failing because, after a time, our self confidence lowers which greatly alters our voice. We are less likely to not want to perform and we are less likely to be motivated to sing. To keep this from happening to myself, I always try to maintain a positive image about myself and I use my failures as motivation to do better rather than worse.
ReplyDeleteSinging exclusively in my head voice has been a HUGE change for me, and it can be very frustrating at times. Because I didn't use my head voice much in the past, I feel like it's not as developed as it should be (I feel like I sound like a 12-year-old), and sometimes I get really discouraged. However, I know that my head voice will develop with time (I just have to be patient), and I know that it is crucial to becoming the singer that I want to become. So I just practice and practice and listen to Brian and patiently wait I guess! :)
ReplyDeleteFailure is the safest in the art. When you fail as an athlete, you can permanently damage yourself. If you fail as a scientist, your results are ruined. But if you fail as an artist, particularly if you fail spectacularly, you make something new. Now, the quality of that something new may not be to your standards, but you learn from what you've made. This applies especially in acting, but also in singing, when failing usually means there is a flaw in your system that you can correct, and not experience in a performance setting. From that angle, you would WANT to fail as often as possible before stepping in front of other people. That's a weird concept to use when going into practice.
ReplyDeleteWELL I WROTE A POST AND THEN IT DELETED SO I'M REALLY MAD ABOUT THAT SO I GUESS I'LL JUST TYPE IT AGAIN...
ReplyDeletethis reminds me of the article that you gave us this past week talking about dancer's mentality versus singer's mentality. i have always been more comfortable as a dancer because that is what i grew up doing. singing has always been way scarier for me especially since i started seriously singing later in high school. i have noticed that in a dance class you HAVE to try what the teacher is showing even if you truly don't think your body bends that way. that is where the difference comes in with someone who is successful and someone who is not. i hate watching people refuse to try new things in dance. the worst thing that will happen is you fall on your butt and then, as the article mentioned, people clap for you. you will never be able to achieve your goal if you don't try. However, this is how i act in singing a lot of the time. i will just be alone trying to do some scales and when i reach something really high i freak out and back away from it. this will never work if i want to be able to hit that note one day. this is a new attitude i have taken on for singing. in voice lessons and in the practice room it is okay to squeal and sound absolutely awful the first time (checking in with health of the voice) but success comes from trying things that those other scared people won't try. and happiness exists outside the comfort zone:)
Failure has literally been one of the harder things to accept for me. Oftentimes ill sit back and say "im simply not going to fail" and by speaking that into existence sometimes i actually do well. but even my strong will cant stop me from simply failing sometimes. i have a love hate relaitonship with failure. When i do fail, i try to use it as a learning experience rather than letting it ruin my life. However, i do feel that failing really sucks especially when it happens in front of other people. But actually that's the best, because I really learn what NOT to do, which is just as beneficial as learning what TO do.
ReplyDeleteI have been failing to get a good amount of sleep for sure....
ReplyDeleteHaving a type A personality, I want to do everything right the first time around without mistake or flaw, which basically makes failure feel like the bane of my existence. Whenever I fail--whether it be major or minor failures--I always beat myself up, though most, if not all, of those mistakes and failures are positive learning experiences that I should use to improve myself. I remember during my second or third lesson, it was pointed out the constant frustration I had with myself each time I flubbed up a warm up, cracked, etc. I had not noticed the amount of times I would beat myself until it was pointed out and realized that, rather than getting frustrated, I should remind myself that failing is okay, especially in a meeting like a lesson or class.
ReplyDeleteThis week specifically, I failed and struggled with getting sleep and being present, ready, and prepared for class. I found myself dozing during classes, accidentally slept through a class, and missed some assignments that would have prepped me for some lectures/quizzes this week. I am hoping that this week, and ones in the future, I am motivated to not slack off like I did this past week.
To me, failure is a very scary thing. I am absolutely my harshest critic and I hold myself to extremely high standards. I expect myself to be 100% committed to each aspect of my life. This semester, I'm realizing that my expectations of perfection are impossible. I can't give 100% to a show, 100% to classes, 100% to work, and 100% to my personal life while still remaining sane. Something has to give. Unfortunately, so far, it has been a little bit of each. I'm still trying to find the magical balance that will make every aspect of life work seamlessly together, but I'm not sure that really exists. So now my alternative will be to accept failure. If I welcome failure as a learning opportunity (and an inevitable one at that), my expectation for perfection will go away. I am not a machine, I am a human. While I cannot literally give 100% to everything, I CAN give 100% effort. I CAN do my very best, and while it may not be perfect, it will be good enough. I am enough.
ReplyDeleteI think my biggest failure this week is not understanding my limits, and listening to my body to know how far I can push myself. I definitely failed with getting enough sleep, and had added too much to my plate that oftentimes, I was spreading myself too thin and trying to multitask, rather than focus on one task and really make progress with it. I feel like I need to get perfect grades in school, as well as have a well situated social life and time to myself. Often, it doesn't always work out and something will be pushed to the side.
ReplyDeleteI need to better learn how to take things one step at a time. But failing this week has taught me what I specifically need to work on, and I now see how I can improve myself and the way I go about completing tasks next week.
I agree that failure is a great opportunity for learning. I have recently been a little bit distracted and busy and have let a few things slip that I am normally really good at staying on top of. One result of this was a recent failure. Maybe it wasn't huge to the outside perspective, but personally I was really disappointed in myself. The result taught me a lot about myself and what level of preparation I need. I have been afraid of failure for most of my life and only recently have I started to feel like it is OK to fail sometimes. I still hate it, but I don't beat myself up as bad and I don't think it is the absolute end of the world.
ReplyDeleteI think accepting that sometimes your performance wasn't your best is a good thing. I have realized that perfection is unattainable is a good mentality to have. That doesn't mean don't strive for it. I realize the more you practice the less likely outside factors will affect you and your voice. With this in mind I've learned to realize that there is a reason for any one of my failures. I've either self-sabotaged or not worked hard enough before a performance. So I look at past performances and understand what could have been done better. Sometimes I reach to an overcritical view and then I know I've watched something to many times. But, I try to find both positives as well as, things that can be improved on.
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