Here is an article I read a while ago that I was reminded of this weekend as I was at the NATS auditions.
http://www.bulletproofmusician.com/how-to-compare-yourself-to-others-without-getting-totally-depressed/
The whole idea of competition is strange when it comes to the arts. The best artists I know are generous, giving, kind, and genuinely interested in the well being of others. Not aggressive, cutthroat, and win-at-all-costs, like the way competitive people are often portrayed.
Unlike sports, the arts aren't ultimately about winning anything. People run races to see who can get to the finish line first, but the point of singing a song is not just to get to the end of the song.
Even if you go through an arduous audition and end up getting the role, that’s when the work BEGINS. All the audition has afforded you is the opportunity to create and explore and express and share. In my experience, people who spend energy developing aggressive, cutthroat, and backstabbing skills are not the best when it comes to creating, exploring, expressing, and sharing.
That’s one thing I like about the NATS auditions. Though they do award place winners, everyone walks away with work to do. The comment sheets, in my mind, are the point of the competition (in addition to performing in this slightly odd and unfamiliar format). We all get comments on how effective we are in practicing our art and how it is perceived by a panel of folks who work in the field.
As we were tabulating scores on Saturday, it was brought up how vastly different the scores sometimes were in each center going from judge to judge. Someone on the committee suggested that we may want to encourage conversation and collaboration among the judges in order to decide who should win each category (something we currently prohibit).
It was ultimately decided to leave the rules the way they are: independent judges with varied perspectives stating their individual opinions. After all, that’s what we get when we perform before an audience—lots of different people with their own impressions.
As the article above indicates, there are healthy ways to compare ourselves to others as we work toward our goals. And a bit of a competitive spirit isn't necessarily a bad thing. But the cliche is true, the only person you are in competition with is the person you were yesterday.
Now go practice.
I am definitely guilty of comparison and am prone to self doubt and lack of confidence. One of my worst tendencies is to doubt on if I will ever be able to 'get there.' I love the idea of taking away from others who are more advanced their processes and elements of the mental tool kit. Also the idea that I am potentially just farther behind than 'they' are. so I just have more work yet to do. With that though, there is always more work to do, which is kinda the great thing about being artists, that we are never finished growing and expanding.
ReplyDeleteI personally loved NATS because they told me things I was doing that I had no idea I was doing. They said that my neck and head were extremely stiff and tense and that was holding back freedom in my voice. This week I've been working on relaxing all the muscles in those areas and low and behold my big leaps and jumps are a lot easier to achieve! I have also continued working on relaxing into the low breath and then using it naturally to hit high notes rather than punching them. It's a huge difference and suprisingly it hasn't been to hard of a shift, but it's something that is very easy to work on in warm ups! I've also been singing my songs while walking around and gliding easy around the room. I have discovered that this has started to build some solid muscle memory on the harder parts of songs.
ReplyDelete-Cameron Fleck
I am absolutely my harshest critic. I find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to have someone else's voice and abilities, but in all reality, everyone's voice is unique to themselves. Well there are still things I admire in others, jealousy is not the right response. I need to observe those I admire and pinpoint what it is about their performance and vocal skill that works so well. Using that knowledge, I want to improve my own ability - not by imitation but in my own way. As of right now, I think I have a good grasp on many styles and techniques. I have observed that what I am missing the most is consistency. I need to be clear about when I'm in a mix, head, belt, and where I'm resonating. I can do all of these, but now they need to be more specifically chosen.
ReplyDelete~Jessica Surprenant
Like so many of my lovely classmates, apparently, I too am extremely self-critical. I've been noticing that this is actually getting to a point where it's detrimental to my abilities, because although I nitpick and work hard to improve, I sometimes create mental blocks for myself, where when I feel pressure or stress to be "perfect," I'll screw things up simply because I'm focusing too much. This is especially true for my technique, so this week I've been trying to think a little less about being vocally spot on, and instead have been looking at some of the more expressive aspects of my pieces (which pertains to a lot of what I've been doing in lessons). I've noticed an improvement; the less I stress about sounding "right," the more relaxed and free my voice becomes.
ReplyDeleteI work my hardest when I am not over-confident about my work. When I am getting excellent response from every part of my life, I tend to slack, unfortunately. But because I know this about myself, I want to test myself with things I may not be able to achieve, so I can see the response I get from it. I was surprised when I even placed at NATS, but I am very grateful that I received criticism for the work I put out. I thought my songs were sung with an effort that reflected my progress in lessons and class, so I feel really good about feedback I got from NATS, and look forward to the next opportunity to test my abilities again.
ReplyDeleteI posted mine earlier, but came back to read others and mine wasn't here, so here it is again:
ReplyDeleteI always beat myself up about my voice. I hear other people and immediately start to think about how much better they are. I hear myself on recordings and become disheartened because I am so far away from where I want to be. It's hard to maintain motivation, but I recently saw a quote that helps: Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through." - Ira Glass
I posted mine earlier, but came back to read others and mine wasn't here, so here it is again:
ReplyDeleteI always beat myself up about my voice. I hear other people and immediately start to think about how much better they are. I hear myself on recordings and become disheartened because I am so far away from where I want to be. It's hard to maintain motivation, but I recently saw a quote that helps: Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through." - Ira Glass
When it comes to auditing, its actually one of my favorite things to do. I love any chance I get to sing for people. But for some reason NATS made me so nervous. Something about it being a competition rather than vying for a role raised the stakes for me. I guess when Im thinking that I am being judged based purely on technique and skill rather than all of the other qualities people look for when casting I start to over analyze everything. I have been working on one of my songs for over 7 years, its in my blood, its in my bones, and even still I was second guessing choices. All about the mindset I suppose. It taught me a lot about how I handle different types of stress when it comes to performing.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to comparing myself to others I have simply made it a rule that I will not. I find that I am constantly surrounded by fantastically talented friends and colleagues, it would make me crazy if I tried to compared myself or try to do what they can do. I used to and it would make me miserable and self conscience. And when I'm self conscience it shows in my performance. Ive learned that the only way I could really break through the walls that Ive built around myself was to stop caring so much. Once I stopped caring, thats when I really started to improve. I can only do what I can do. So I focus on that.
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ReplyDeleteI am my biggest critic and I am a perfectionist. Those two together really are double trouble because it can become debilitating at times if I don't balance myself out and allow myself to enjoy the process. Largely because I want to get from point A to point B as fast as possible and I want to be extremely competent. The pressure I put on myself holds me back from expanding at times. I wouldn't say I'm the jealous type but I do find myself yearning for what other people have, qualities other people have that maybe I don't have or I'm not as good at and then I get super competitive with MYSELF. I am extremely critical of myself. I'm also critical of other people. I've gotten SO MUCH BETTER at just relaxing and understanding that everyone has a different process, journey, and life to lead. Mine is mine and theirs is theirs. It's not out of a bad/negative place it's really a place of wanting everything and everyone to go well and smooth and when it isn't I get kind of tweaked out about it. Obviously this downfall of mine comes from within and how I treat myself. I can be VERY self conscience and it can cause issues. My goal has been and still is is to relax within the process. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the performance. Enjoy the moment. Nothing else matters in that moment. That seems to be helping me out...
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