If you asked random people on the street what "soft" means, they would probably describe things like pillows, stuffed animals, or fluffy kittens—anything that's the opposite of hard, firm, or sharp. If you asked musicians the same question, they might tell you it's the opposite of loud, thinking first of musical dynamics. Of course, both answers are correct.
English being the funny language that it is, lots of words have multiple meanings when used in different contexts. The opposite of soft (as in "malleable" or "squishy") is hard. And the opposite of hard (as in "difficult") is easy. But we generally don't think of "soft" and "easy" as being synonyms. Maybe we should.
For instance, if I ask you to sing softer in a lesson, I might be asking you to sing quieter. Or, I could be asking you to sing with less effort. Often, when we think about building vocal technique, our brains and bodies assume we have to do more of something, engage more muscles, or expend more energy. This can sometimes lead to hyperfunction, which can make our singing less efficient. We might get better results by a different version of singing softer, meaning using less effort, releasing unnecessary muscles, and allowing the voice to find more ease and balance. This version of soft singing has nothing to do with forte versus piano. It just means applying a softer effort to avoid overworking.
This can also apply to the mental and emotional aspects of singing. My wife, Erika, has adopted the phrase "try softer" to remind her co-workers (and herself) to allow themselves some grace, remove the stress from a situation, and work with more intention and focus. We actually thought Erika had made up the phrase, but then we found out there is a book called Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode—and into a Life of Connection and Joy. In that book, author Aundi Kolber writes,
"In a world that preaches a 'try harder' gospel―just keep going, keep hustling, keep pretending we're all fine―we're left exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, and numb to our lives...It doesn't have to be this way."
In a Journal of Singing article I wrote, I examined some of the research that highlights how working too hard—like too many hours in a week or too many hours in a day—can negatively impact our health. Besides inducing feelings of fatigue, it can lead to “burnout,” which the World Health Organization (WHO) defines as “feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy.”
In addition to these symptoms, fatigue can also cause us to be inattentive and careless. We know that repeated exercise of a muscle can lead to physical fatigue, but one research study found that repeated use of “executive resources” (or cognitive resources that allow people to control their behaviors, desires, and emotions) resulted in a decline in "self-regulatory capacity." This resulted in diminished ability to resist temptation and control impulses, and
increased desire to avoid exerting further effort. In other words, fatigue makes us want to stop trying, so we start to cut corners and look for the easy way out.
The end of the semester is a time when fatigue and burnout may start to take their toll. We may feel diminished capacity and want to just stop trying. That's certainly understandable. However, maybe we don't need to stop trying altogether. Maybe we can just try softer.
Learning to sing at a professional level is difficult. There are many skills to develop, which require an investment of your time, effort, and resources. Life is also difficult. It requires resiliency, learning from mistakes, and being willing to just keep trying. But no one benefits from exhaustion or burnout. Finding ways to try softer may allow us opportunities to be gentle with ourselves while still being tenacious in the pursuit of our goals.
The end of the semester is also a good time for self-reflection. I'd encourage you all to think about the ways you have grown over the course of the school year. My vantage point has allowed me to witness the many significant strides you all have made this year, which is deeply gratifying to me. It also helps me refine my ideas about the next steps we can continue to take.
I certainly engage in self-reflection at this time of year, as well. I am always thinking about how I can be (or could have been) a better teacher to all of you, but especially so when looking back on a school year (or a college career—NATE!) that has wrapped up. One balance I am always trying to strike is knowing when and how much I can challenge each of you while still being a soft place to land when you just need encouragement or a cheerleader as you work toward your dreams.
In Waitress, Jenna sings, "A dream needs believing to taste like the real thing...But dreams are elusive...Dreams come and they go...But hold them and keep them, and know that you need them. When your breaking point's all that you have, a dream is a soft place to land."
It's one of the great honors of my life to be your teacher and to, hopefully, help make your dreams a bit less elusive. As you continue to "hold them and keep them," give yourself permission to try a bit softer sometimes.
Much love,
-brian
